The Blog of fitterhappiervelcro

I think I've already put this video here somewhere, but still:

I think I've said a lot of these things here before.

1. All my favorite things are one. ;*

2. I really like making lists, so I couldn't really pass up this opportunity.

3. I love six word memoirs. In fact, #1 is a six word memoir someone said to me once.

4. I've read the first few chapters of many, many books. I wasn't much of a reader before so a lot of the time I'd start a book and never finish it, but even now I'll read a few chapters at a book store or the first few pages on Amazon.com.

5. I over think things all the time. I'm currently over analyzing who I should tag. It's a really difficult task. If I do tag you, it's because I trust you and like you, not because I'm demanding that you do this, and I an really afraid that you'll think my sixteen things are ridiculous. Oh, jeez, and if I didn't tag you and you think it's weird that I didn't, it's just because I'm over thinking this. Sorry.

6. I plan to be a psychologist, but when I really think about it, that idea is a little bit crippling purely because of the time and effort I have to put in to get the degrees I need.

7. I write EVERYTHING down. It's so weird because I have books and slips of paper all over the place filled with reminders that I felt compelled to write down so I wouldn't forget them, but once I write it down, I will most likely never look at it again. I should know that and stop wasting paper, but I don't feel satisfied until I know that whatever is bothering me (like a song lyric or an actor or a book title) is written down somewhere.

8. I want to be everyone's best friend. That's pretty much the first though that comes to me when I meet (and like) someone.

9. I am Suzanna's opposite, but in the good way. I'm the music to her lyrics. I'm the tic to her tac. I'm the way she makes crack. Those last two sentences are lyrics of a song we wrote together. I think she's my muse.

10. I think Sarah Vowell is me in 22 years. I hope so at least. I want to be that funny and smart and morbid.

11. I miss the '90s so so so so much, which is weird because I was young, but I think I was involved enough for that to be viable. I'm so ready for the comeback. I just have to wait two more years.

12. In relation to #11, one of the oddest sensations for me is when I hear a song for the first time in 10+ years. I'll know every word, but I won't know the band or why the song is so familiar. See: Fastball.

13. I love actors who transform. Ed Harris, Gary Oldman, Albert Finney. I think that's what defines a true actor. After the first few minutes, I should only be able to see the character.

14. My favorite book, movie, song, etc. changes every day or sometimes every hour. And I can easily love movies and actors and books that I've never seen or read. Today: movie- My Life Without Me, book- Perks of Being a Wallflower or Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, song- Can't Hardly Wait by the Replacements

15. I want a typewriter. Really badly. (I'm looking at you Kallen.) An old one. Like the Moulin Rouge one. That old.

16. I love every Charlie. I can't think of a single one I am not pretty fond of. Charlie Brown, Charlie Kaufman, Charlie Chaplin, Charlie and Lola. All of them.

I like that song. It reminds me of Gogol Bordello a bit.

Suzanna and I went on a fake date today. :) :) :)

I went black friday-ing. Got some good deals.

Suzanna and I met up with our hot friend, Kallen,  for dinner  and then went to her house for a bit.

Good good good day.

I don't even have words. I keep trying to write things, but I can't make anything fluid.

I hate my friends.

I hate myself. I can't decide which I hate more.

I miss the 90's.

I hate failing.

I hate feeling this way.

I can't imagine a future where I'm not freaking out and failing and hating.

I hate listening to you when you're bitchy and superficial and you think you're so right. You just say things and hope people will agree with you because none of it makes sense. If you're going to be so righteous at least make sense. At least don't be a hypocrite. You always think smiling and apologizing hollowly will make me like you. I'll like you if you stop being such a materialistic, spoiled bitch. You always bitch at me when my mom won't let me go somewhere with you, but at least I have an okay reason. You always say you'll do things with me and change your mind the day of. How is that not worse that you leave me alone at the last minute. I don't pretend that I can do things with you, but you pretend that you want to do things with me. I guess it's only a viable offense when it's something cool like smoking weed or going to a concert or going to your house to be ignored by you. And stop talking about people when they're right there. I'd say stop talking behind people's backs, but I think that's impossible for you. If nothing else stop turning to the person next to you to comment about how weird the person two feet away is. Why do I ever like you?

I heard this song today.

I was so excited for this movie, and it's finally online.

Follow the link.

watch-movies.net/movies/the_wackness/

profile.myspace.com/index.cfm

Tell me what you think. I'm a little blinded. And biased.

The Elliot Smith group in the corner reminded me that this is one of my favorite movies. I guess it's a major spoiler, but whatever.

Bottle Rocket

I'm feeling very loving these days. The school play was this week and all of my friends were amazing in it, and all of my enemies had small parts because they suck as actors just as much as they suck as people. My friend who disappeared from the face of the earth messaged me the other day so I know she's alive. Suzanna and I are good. Twilight was better than I expected (but to be fair, there was a good chance it would, my expectations were veerrryy low.) I'm not completely happy (not by any means) but much more so than in recent weeks.

So the Newspaper came out today finally, and this girl stopped dating a member of the staff and decided to hate us all now apparently. She always does stuff like this. I can't believe I defended her.

Stupid girl wrote: yes, some loser wrote about the ****** ***** festival (very poorly too) and there was a picture of us in it. wtf right? and there was me and Max in the same picture. I HATE WHOM EVER TOOK THAT.

her friend wrote: Oo
I don't even remember my picture being taken by newspaper people when I was at ****** *****.

Stupid Girl wrote: yeah we ran into some of the idiots on staff and they were all like "lol..we don't know how to react to normal people because we're like duuuuuuuuur" and stuff.

Then when someone on the staff put as their status "Gary- really wants to know what her problem is" (not mentioning names) she changed her status like 5 times in a row to:

-thinks she doesn't have to tell you what her "problem" is because it's none of your business

-would seriously like you to stfu. kthx

- really doesn't care what you say or think

-is going to say whatever she wants about what she wants. Especially if it'll anger you

-is mad at herself, but does what she has to

Ha! Being a grudge holding bitch to everyone who has a class with your ex is what you have to do?

If you don't think we deserve to read what you write and react to your offensive comments, then why are you reacting to our much less offensive comments that don't even mention you personally?

I don't like being caught up in drama. It makes me feel dirty. This is so ridiculous I'm going to try to forget it. This isn't even why I was angry originally.

I live in a predominantly black city, and as I apply to college and look at the ones I've been accepted to, it's really odd to see how few black people there are. I guess it shouldn't matter. I shouldn't be looking at their skin, but I love diversity, and all the kids, in Evansville for example, are such white bread. I don't know if it's being in the North, or if  it's the size of the town, but it's just so weird to me. I toured the campus last spring and I only counted like five, three of which being my friend and her parents who were also touring. And that goes for any race, the lack of diversity just shocks me.

I don't know how to feel right now

I don't know what to do right now

I don't know what to think right now

Fuck fuck fuck

Fuck you, okay? Stop acting so damn innocent. Or maybe you're really just that oblivious. Maybe it's too much for you to have care like you say you will.

You can't just tell people to be happy instead. I can't do that.  I have real emotions and thoughts and hurts that I can't ignore. At least not for long. Maybe sometimes I try to forget at just act pleasant, but  I can't always do that for you. If you aren't going to be the person you said you were going to be, whatever, but why do you keep telling me that it's okay? What the fuck? How do you honestly say "Oh, that's okay" to me when I tell you about how you're hurting me? Why won't you ever take me seriously? You keep telling me that we're close and all these things, but they are just words.

I don't want to lose more friends.

1. Kissed on the cheek by a girl I like wearing red lipstick.

2. Senior Out to Lunch which means I got to skip 4th period to go eat Chinese food with one of my best friends. (And then go to a bookstore.) Hilarity Ensued.

3. Death by Chocolate. My friend brought chocolate cake to Newspaper again, but this time he drizzled chocolate syrup on it and used a hershey bar to make chocolate shavings. And he brought chocolate milk. That + tons of Chinese food = I think I'm going to throw up. But it was still good.

4. I got accepted to two colleges today. The first one I knew I was going to get into and will be cheap. The second one is giving me $13,500, and that's purely merit based. We haven't filed the fafsa yet. (Even so it's an expensive school, and that wouldn't be enough if we didn't get some financial aid, but still money is money.)

5. Talked to an old friend that I'd been missing a lot. :)

6. Wasn't moody all day, and didn't obsess about my weight as much as I usually do.

7. (I'm still considering it today since it's within 24 hours.) I just got accepted to another college. My #1 school in fact, but they didn't mention money at all, so that's not ideal, but still, it's exciting!

I totally woke up to this song like three hours ago, and it completely seeped into all of my muscles.

Oh Caveh

her: okay
her: so
her: I thought you already knew this??
her: Elena and I never actually had sex (even though it totally would have happened when I visited her at college because phone calls can only go so far hahaha) but we weren't exactly far from having sex either...okay. that's all.
me: I'm pretty sure I would've remembered that.
her: I thought you just assumed
her: which was stupid of me for assuming you assumed haha

...

But I'm not going to lie, Timbaland has nothing on Pharrell producer-wise.

I couldn't find the Sarah Silverman clip I wanted. Pretty much it's her pretending to be the Mayor and being like " Hi, I'm the mayor" at the beginning and end of her conversation.

MAKEOVER!

Especially newspaper. Jake and Nathan left after 5th period to go get some pizza for newspaper, and Kim had blowpens for some project that we were playing with. I made a purple giraffe that was standing Godzilla-like in the Seattle skyline. :)

I don't know how this will come off in text, but today we were talking about pronunciation and how in the South pen and pin are pronounced the same and get sounds like git in the south etc. (That totally blew my friend's mind when he found out pen and pin were pronounced differently. He was like "Are there other words like these!?" It was great.) But my other friend pronounced mirror as one syllable like a meerkat. And then I drew a mirror cat, and gave it to her, and it was quite possible the best thing I've ever done with my life. I literally cried because I was laughing so hard.

Later today I had this really old pen with smiles on the cap, and it kinda broke today, but only in that the top of the cap has a hole in it now so I rolled up this paper I was using like a joint and drew lips on it and stuck it in the cap so it was like I was smoking a joint made of smiles and kisses. I really hope I explained that well enough... I feel silly.

I got my cell phone taken up at school today, which I understand, because it clearly says in the rules that we're not supposed to have them, but I think it's silly that I can't have it back for 24 hours. I wasn't texting in class or anything, I had it turned off in my purse and we had metal detector checks today. Usually I don't have it because I see no point in having it with me, but I had a meeting after school today. I hate how they spend so much time enforcing the small rules instead of teaching. Or if they are going to enforce those rules at least be consistent. I get how cell phones can be bad, but I only bring it with me when I have to stay after school or if I'm going home with someone else. I guess it was mostly my fault though. I saw they were checking today, but I gambled. Usually every tenth person is checked, but today it was almost everyone.

But uuughhhh I hate feuds. I used to like Kylie, we were friends, but I think I was blind to how annoying she is. I hate getting mad/offended at second hand information, but apparently today she was like "Oh, I think it's cute how Newspaper is copying Yearbook with their press passes etc." I don't even remember it all, but seriously. Like we aren't a legitimate school organization. And that we wouldn't have done those things anyway. If we didn't have the passes, we couldn't have cameras at school which mean the newspaper would be extremely lacking in graphics. I don't know. There was more to it. Her status on facebook right now is "Kylie thinks the yearbook-newspaper feud is silly." There wouldn't fucking be one without your snide fucking comments.